You prepare by examining your conscience, praying, and coming ready to speak your sins aloud to Christ in the presence of the priest. That’s the short answer. But let’s talk about what that actually looks like, especially if you’re new to this.
Start the Day Before
Don’t wait until you’re standing in line at church. Give yourself at least a day to prepare. This isn’t about manufacturing feelings or working yourself into a state. It’s about getting honest with yourself before God.
Begin with prayer. Ask God to show you your sins. We’re remarkably good at hiding things from ourselves, and we need help seeing clearly. There’s a simple prayer you can use: “O Lord my God, I confess that I have sinned against You in thought, word and deed. Teach me both to desire and to do only what pleases You. Amen.”
Then sit down with paper and pencil. Yes, actually write things down. Your mind will wander otherwise, and you’ll forget half of what you meant to confess once you’re actually standing there. List specific sins. Not “I wasn’t very nice this week” but “I yelled at my coworker on Tuesday” or “I lied to my wife about where I was going.”
What to Examine
Look at your thoughts, words, and actions. All three matter. The sin you committed in your heart counts, even if you never acted on it.
Read through the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20. Go slowly. Have you made an idol of anything? Your job, your boat, your reputation at the plant? Have you dishonored your parents? Coveted what belongs to your neighbor?
Then read the Beatitudes in Matthew 5. They’ll cut deeper. Do you hunger for righteousness or for comfort? Are you merciful? Pure in heart? A peacemaker?
Fr. Thomas Hopko’s examination of conscience asks questions like these: Do I look for fights and arguments? Do I provoke others to anger? Do I believe in turning the other cheek, or do I take revenge? Do I daydream during the Divine Liturgy instead of praying attentively?
Write it all down. Don’t justify yourself on paper. Don’t explain why you had good reasons. Just name the sins.
Fast and Pray
Many Orthodox Christians fast the day before confession. Nothing elaborate, maybe just skip meat and dairy, or if you’re new to fasting, just skip one meal. The point isn’t to punish yourself. It’s to focus your attention and remind your body that something serious is happening.
Pray Psalm 51 if you know it. “Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your steadfast love. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity.” If you don’t have a prayer book yet, just talk to God. Tell Him you’re sorry. Tell Him you need help changing.
What Happens During Confession
When it’s your turn, you’ll approach the analogion (that’s the stand with the cross and gospel book on it). The priest stands beside you, not between you and the icon. You’re confessing to Christ. The priest is there as a witness and to offer you guidance.
Some priests will ask, “What have you come to tell God before my witness?” Others will simply wait for you to begin. You can start with a prayer like “I have sinned, O Lord, have mercy upon me a sinner,” or you can just start talking.
Be specific. Say the sins out loud. This is harder than you think it’ll be, and that’s part of why it works. Saying something aloud makes it real in a way that thinking about it never does.
The priest might ask questions or offer counsel. He’s not there to judge you. He goes to confession himself, probably has more to confess than you do. He’s acting as a spiritual physician, helping you see what needs healing and how to cooperate with God’s grace going forward.
When you’re finished, the priest will read the prayer of absolution and you’ll receive a blessing. That’s it. Your sins are forgiven. You start fresh.
A Word for the Nervous
If you grew up Baptist or non-denominational here in Southeast Texas, this whole thing probably sounds strange. You might be thinking, “Why do I need to tell a priest? Can’t I just confess to God directly?”
You can talk to God anytime, and you should. But confession isn’t just about information transfer. It’s a Mystery, a means of grace. Something happens here that doesn’t happen when you’re alone in your truck praying. The Church has practiced this since the beginning because Christ gave the apostles authority to forgive sins, and that authority continues through the bishops and priests.
And honestly? Most of us need to say our sins out loud to another human being. Shame loses its power when it’s spoken. Secrets fester. Confession brings things into the light where they can be healed.
Your first confession will probably feel awkward. That’s fine. You’ll get better at examining your conscience with practice. You’ll learn what to look for. And you’ll discover that the priest has heard it all before and isn’t shocked by anything you say.
Come as you are. Bring your list. Speak your sins. Receive God’s mercy. Then go home and start again, trying to cooperate a little better with the grace you’ve been given. That’s how we’re saved, not all at once in a single decision, but slowly, confession by confession, liturgy by liturgy, day by day.
