Yes, a priest can withhold absolution. But it’s not quite what you might think.
In Orthodoxy, the priest doesn’t refuse absolution because he’s mad at you or thinks you haven’t suffered enough. He withholds it when something makes it impossible for you to receive it. There’s a difference. The priest isn’t the one forgiving your sins anyway, God is. The priest stands as witness and declares what God has done. When he reads the prayer of absolution and covers your head with his stole, he’s announcing God’s mercy, not dispensing it from his own authority.
So when would a priest withhold absolution? When you’re not actually repentant. If you come to confession and say “Yeah, I’m sleeping with my girlfriend, and I’m gonna keep doing it, but I figured I should confess,” the priest can’t absolve you. Not because he’s being harsh, but because there’s nothing to absolve. You haven’t repented. Repentance means you intend to change. It doesn’t mean you’ll be perfect or never fall again, we all know better than that. But it means you’re genuinely trying to turn away from the sin, not just checking a box.
The OCA puts it this way: it’s not the priest who refuses the sacrament, but rather the circumstance the person is in that makes it impossible. The priest guards the Mysteries. He can’t give you absolution if you’re living in open scandal or if you’re approaching confession like a legal transaction where you list your sins and expect automatic forgiveness regardless of your heart.
This comes up in Southeast Texas more than you’d think. Someone might come to confession before Pascha because that’s what you’re supposed to do, but they’re still nursing a grudge against their brother-in-law that they have zero intention of letting go. Or they’re cheating their business partner and plan to keep doing it. The priest’s job isn’t to rubber-stamp that. He might say, “We need to talk about this more. You’re not ready yet.” That’s pastoral care, not rejection.
There’s another situation that comes up. If you go to confession to a priest who isn’t your parish priest, maybe you’re traveling, or you want to confess something particularly embarrassing to someone who doesn’t know you, that’s generally fine, but there needs to be communication. The priest needs to know you’re Orthodox and in good standing. If he doesn’t know you and can’t verify that, he might need to check with your home parish. This isn’t bureaucracy for its own sake. The priest is responsible for guarding the Mysteries and making sure he’s not giving Communion to someone who’s been told not to receive it.
Metropolitan Kallistos Ware talks about how confession isn’t a courtroom. The priest isn’t a judge handing down sentences. He’s a physician helping you heal. Sometimes the physician has to say, “You’re not ready for this treatment yet. We need to address something else first.” That’s not refusal. That’s medicine.
Here’s where we differ from Catholic practice. Catholics understand the priest as having the power to forgive sins directly, acting in the person of Christ. We say the priest declares God’s forgiveness as a witness. The prayer of absolution in Orthodox practice says something like, “May God forgive you through me, a sinner.” It’s declarative, not juridical. This affects how we think about withholding absolution. It’s less about the priest’s authority and more about whether the conditions for healing are present.
One more thing. If you confess something and you still feel guilty about it later, maybe it’s something from years ago that keeps nagging at you, you can confess it again. Some people worry that’s insulting to God or shows lack of faith. It’s not. It’s recognizing that healing takes time. The priest won’t refuse to hear it again. He’ll probably give you the same absolution and maybe some counsel about accepting God’s mercy. We’re being saved, remember. It’s a process.
If a priest does withhold absolution, he should tell you why and what needs to happen before you can receive it. Maybe you need to reconcile with someone. Maybe you need to end a sinful relationship. Maybe you just need more time to think and pray about whether you’re really ready to change. A good confessor will walk with you through that. He’s not slamming a door in your face. He’s helping you find the right door and making sure you’re ready to walk through it.
Come talk to Fr. Michael if you have questions about this. Confession can feel intimidating, especially if you’re new to Orthodoxy or coming from a background where you never did anything like it. But it’s meant to be healing, not scary. The priest wants to give you absolution. He’s not looking for reasons to withhold it. He just can’t declare you forgiven if you’re not actually turning away from your sin.
