Your sponsor should be an Orthodox Christian who’s actually living the faith and can guide you in it. Not just someone who shows up on Christmas and Easter.
This isn’t like picking a groomsman or asking your favorite cousin to stand up with you. A sponsor becomes your spiritual parent. That’s the actual term we use, you’ll be their spiritual child, and they’re taking on a responsibility before God to help you grow in Orthodox life. This relationship lasts the rest of your life, not just through the baptism service.
What Your Sponsor Actually Does
During your chrismation (or baptism if you’re being baptized), your sponsor stands with you and speaks on your behalf. They’ll renounce Satan with you, affirm the faith, and recite the Creed. They’re vouching for you before the Church.
But that’s just the beginning. After you’re received, your sponsor should make sure you’re getting to confession regularly, receiving communion, learning to pray, understanding the fasts. They’ll answer your questions when you’re confused about why we do things a certain way or what a particular feast means. When you’re struggling, they pray for you. When you’re doing well, they encourage you.
In the early weeks after you’re chrismated, your sponsor should be accompanying you to communion. They should check in on you, maybe bring you an icon or a prayer book, visit your home. Think of it like spiritual mentorship that never ends.
Who Qualifies
Your sponsor must be Orthodox. Not “was baptized Orthodox as a baby but hasn’t been to church in fifteen years.” Not “really loves Jesus and goes to First Baptist every Sunday.” Orthodox, practicing, in good standing at their parish.
That means they’re communing regularly, going to confession, fasting when the Church fasts, tithing. They should know the Creed by heart. They need to be someone your priest approves, because he’s the one who’ll be working with both of you. Most parishes require sponsors to be active members somewhere, not just people who show up once a year.
The Church canonically requires only one sponsor, and traditionally it’s someone of the same sex as you. This isn’t arbitrary, the spiritual relationship between sponsor and godchild is considered so close that it creates the same marriage impediments as blood relations. You can’t marry your godparent or their children. So we typically keep it same-sex to avoid complications.
Some folks want their spouse to be their sponsor, or they want multiple godparents because they can’t choose between friends. Talk to your priest. He might allow some flexibility, but understand that only one person is your actual canonical sponsor.
Common Mistakes
The biggest mistake is treating this like an honor you’re bestowing on someone. “I want to make my best friend feel special, so I’ll ask her to be my sponsor.” That’s backwards. You’re not doing them a favor. You’re asking them to take on a serious responsibility.
Another mistake is choosing someone who lives three states away. Sure, they’re a great Orthodox Christian, but how are they going to help you when you’re confused about something Father said in his homily or you’re not sure if you’re supposed to fast from oil this week? You need someone local, someone who can actually be present in your life.
And don’t pick someone just because they’ve been Orthodox longer than anyone else you know. Length of time matters less than depth of practice. A convert who was chrismated five years ago but prays daily, fasts seriously, and knows the faith well is better than a cradle Orthodox who’s coasting.
Finding the Right Person
Look around your parish. Who’s there every Sunday? Who stays for coffee hour and talks about the faith naturally, not showing off but just living it? Who do you see at vespers on Saturday night or at the weekday services?
Ask your priest for suggestions. He knows his flock. He’ll know who has the spiritual maturity and the time to invest in you.
When you’re considering someone, have an honest conversation with them. Don’t just say, “Will you be my sponsor?” Explain that you’re looking for someone to help you learn to live as an Orthodox Christian, someone you can call when you’re struggling, someone who’ll pray for you and hold you accountable. See if they’re willing to take that on.
Your sponsor should be someone you respect spiritually but also someone you’re comfortable being honest with. You’ll need to be able to tell them when you’re messing up or when you don’t understand something. If you’re going to be intimidated or try to impress them all the time, that won’t work.
What This Means for You
Here in Southeast Texas, most of us come from traditions where “godparent” means someone who sends a birthday card and maybe a savings bond. That’s not what we’re talking about. Your sponsor is entering into a bond with you that the Church considers as serious as family.
Metropolitan Kallistos Ware writes about how the early Christians understood this relationship as creating kinship in Christ that was deeper than blood. Your sponsor isn’t just a friend who happened to stand next to you one day. They’re your spiritual parent, and you’re committing to that relationship just as much as they are.
So choose carefully. Pray about it. Talk to your priest. And when you find the right person, thank God for giving you a guide for this new life you’re entering.
