Just tell him. That’s what he’s there for.
Your priest isn’t going to be shocked that you’re struggling with the fast. He’s heard it before. He’s probably struggled himself. And here’s the thing: Orthodox fasting was never meant to be a pass-fail test you take alone. It’s a healing discipline practiced under the guidance of a spiritual father, which means your priest expects you to talk to him about it.
Fasting Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All
The Church has fasting guidelines, sure. But those guidelines get applied to actual people with actual lives, and that’s where economia comes in. Economia is the pastoral discretion your priest uses to adapt the Church’s wisdom to your specific situation. It’s not permission to ignore the fast. It’s the Church acting like a mother who knows her children have different needs.
Maybe you work offshore on a rig and you’re stuck eating whatever the galley serves. Maybe you’re pregnant or nursing. Maybe you’ve got diabetes or you’re recovering from an eating disorder. Maybe you’re just new to Orthodoxy and the idea of fasting most of the year feels impossible. These are all reasons to talk to your priest, and they’re all reasons he might adjust your fasting rule.
St. John Chrysostom said if you can’t keep the full fast, try fasting until evening. If you can’t do that, at least avoid overeating. The point is to do something, to offer what you can, not to achieve some perfect score.
How to Actually Have the Conversation
Don’t wait until you’re three weeks into Great Lent and falling apart. Talk to your priest before a fasting season starts if you can, or as soon as you realize you’re struggling. You can catch him after Liturgy, call the church office, or send an email. Just say it straight: “Father, I’m having trouble with the fast and I need your guidance.”
Be honest about what’s going on. If you’re exhausted all the time, say so. If you’re secretly eating meat at lunch because you’re starving by noon, tell him. If your spouse isn’t Orthodox and family meals are becoming a battlefield, he needs to know. Your priest can’t help you if you’re vague or if you’re trying to make yourself sound more disciplined than you are.
And here’s what might surprise you: he’ll probably give you a blessing to modify your fast. That’s not failure. That’s obedience. You’re letting your priest act as your spiritual physician instead of trying to self-diagnose and self-prescribe.
What Fasting Actually Is
Fasting is a spiritual weapon, not a religious diet plan. We fast to quiet the body’s demands so we can hear God better, to practice self-control, to remember we don’t live by bread alone. It’s supposed to help you pray, not make you so hungry and cranky that you snap at your kids and zone out during the Divine Liturgy.
The Church doesn’t want you to harm your body. If fasting is making you sick, if it’s becoming an obsession, if it’s feeding pride instead of humility, something’s wrong. That’s why we don’t fast alone. That’s why we need a priest’s guidance.
Metropolitan Kallistos Ware wrote that fasting should be reasonable and adapted to our strength. The goal is spiritual growth, not some kind of ascetic Olympics where we compete to see who can suffer most.
The Blessing Makes the Difference
When your priest gives you a modified fasting rule, that blessing changes things. You’re no longer just doing what’s easy or what you feel like doing. You’re practicing obedience, which is its own ascetic discipline. You’re trusting the Church’s wisdom as it comes through your priest, and that trust is part of your spiritual formation.
Some people worry they’re being weak if they can’t keep the full fast. But weakness is human. We’re all weak. The question is whether you’re going to hide that weakness and struggle alone, or bring it to your priest and let the Church help you grow from where you actually are, not where you think you should be.
So call him. Send that email. Have the conversation. Your priest is waiting for it, and he’s not going to think less of you. He’s going to help you fast in a way that heals you instead of crushing you, and that’s what fasting was meant to do all along.
