You’re going to struggle. That’s normal.
Almost everyone who becomes Orthodox wrestles with something. Maybe it’s asking the saints to pray for you. Maybe it’s calling Mary the Theotokos. Maybe it’s kissing icons or going to confession or fasting on Wednesdays. The question isn’t whether you’ll struggle, it’s what you do with that struggle.
The Church doesn’t expect you to have everything figured out before you’re chrismated. That’s not how this works. We’re not asking you to sign off on a doctrinal checklist like you’re agreeing to terms and conditions. We’re asking you to trust the Church enough to enter into her life, to live the faith, and to let understanding come through experience.
There’s a difference between honest questions and rejection
Here’s what matters: Are you asking questions because you want to understand, or are you digging in your heels because you’ve already decided the Church is wrong?
Honest struggle looks like this: “I don’t get why we venerate icons. It feels weird to me. Can you help me understand?” That’s good. Bring that to your priest. Ask it ten times if you need to. Read what the Seventh Ecumenical Council said. Stand in church and watch people kiss the icons. Give it time.
Rejection looks different: “I will never accept this. The Church is wrong and I’m right.” That’s a problem. Not because we demand blind obedience, but because Orthodoxy requires trust in the Church’s wisdom. If you can’t trust the Church on something she’s taught for centuries, you’re not ready to become Orthodox. Not yet, anyway.
Most people land somewhere in the middle. You’re not sure, you’re uncomfortable, but you’re willing to try. That’s enough.
Living into the teachings
Fr. Thomas Hopko used to say that faith isn’t about having all the answers upfront. It’s about responding to Christ, surrendering to him, and then discovering the truth through the life of the Church. You don’t need to understand everything about the Theotokos before you’re chrismated. You need to be willing to honor her as the Church does, to say the prayers, to stand for the hymns, and to let that lived experience teach you what your mind can’t grasp yet.
I’ve watched this happen. Someone comes in from a Baptist background, can’t stand the idea of praying to saints. But they start attending, they hear the prayers week after week, they see the peace in people’s faces when they venerate the icons. Six months later they’re lighting candles in front of St. Michael and asking his intercession. They didn’t argue themselves into it. They lived into it.
That’s how Orthodoxy works. We believe that the faith is caught as much as it’s taught. You participate in the liturgy, you fast, you confess, you commune, and slowly the teachings start making sense in ways they never could when they were just ideas.
What about the hard stuff?
Some teachings are harder than others. If you’re coming from a Protestant background, the Theotokos is usually the big one. You’ve been taught your whole life that Catholics (and by extension, Orthodox) worship Mary. You don’t. But it takes time to see the difference between veneration and worship, between asking her prayers and making her a goddess.
Confession trips people up too. You’ve got to sit there and tell another person your sins? Yes. And it’s one of the most healing things you’ll ever do, but you won’t believe that until you’ve done it.
Icons feel like idolatry until you understand what they are, windows into heaven, not objects of worship. The fasting feels legalistic until you realize it’s medicine for your soul, not a rule to earn God’s favor.
Your priest has heard all of this before. He’s not going to be shocked or offended. Bring your questions to him. If you’re meeting with him regularly (and you should be), use that time. Don’t sit at home spinning your wheels. Talk it through.
When does struggle become a barrier?
Here’s the honest answer: it depends. Your priest will help you discern this. If you’re nine months into the catechumenate and you’re still actively fighting against a core teaching of the Church, that’s something to pay attention to. Not because you’re a bad person, but because you might not be ready yet.
But if you’re asking questions, reading, praying, attending services, and trying to understand, even if you’re not all the way there, that’s different. The Church has patience. She’s been doing this for two thousand years. She can wait for you to catch up.
Some people need more time. That’s fine. Chrismation isn’t a deadline you have to hit. It’s better to take another six months and enter the Church with peace than to rush in with unresolved doubts that’ll eat at you later.
You’re not alone in this
Every convert I know struggled with something. I did. Your priest probably did too, if he’s a convert. The people standing next to you in church on Sunday, half of them wrestled with the same questions you’re wrestling with now.
And here’s the thing: even after you’re chrismated, you’ll keep learning. You’ll keep discovering new depths to teachings you thought you understood. That’s part of being Orthodox. We don’t have it all figured out. We’re being saved, not already saved.
So bring your struggles to your priest. Be honest. Keep showing up. Keep praying. Trust the process. The Church has been forming Christians for a long time. She knows what she’s doing.
