It happens all the time. You’re drawn to Orthodoxy, you’ve been attending liturgy, you’re meeting with a priest, and your family thinks you’ve lost your mind.
This is hard. But it’s not unusual, and it doesn’t mean you should stop.
The pastoral advice from across the Orthodox Church is consistent: you can honor your family and still follow your conscience into the Church. These aren’t mutually exclusive. But you’ll need patience, humility, and a thick skin.
Why families push back
If you grew up Baptist or Church of Christ here in Southeast Texas, your mama probably thinks you’re joining a cult. She’s seen the icons, heard about venerating Mary, watched you cross yourself. To her, this looks like you’re abandoning Jesus for something foreign and suspicious.
Catholic families have different concerns. They often see Orthodoxy as unnecessary, “You’re leaving the Church for basically the same thing without the Pope?” Some think you’re being prideful or difficult.
Non-religious families sometimes take it as a personal rejection. “We raised you just fine without all this church stuff. Why do you suddenly need to be so extreme?”
None of these reactions mean your family doesn’t love you. They’re scared. They don’t understand. And honestly, if you’ve been argumentative or condescending about your discovery of Orthodoxy, you may have made it worse.
Convert yourself first
Fr. Andrew Stephen Damick and other Ancient Faith writers repeat this constantly: convert yourself before you try to convert anyone else. Your family doesn’t need your lectures about the filioque or sola scriptura. They need to see you becoming more patient, more loving, more at peace.
That means doing the actual work of catechesis. Meet with your priest regularly. Establish a prayer rule. Attend services. Read the books he assigns. Let the faith form you from the inside out.
When your family sees real change, when you’re kinder to your difficult uncle, when you stop being so reactive, when there’s something different about you, that speaks louder than any theological argument. Some families soften over time. Not all do, but many do.
Practical steps that help
First, talk to your priest about the specific opposition you’re facing. He’s dealt with this before. He can help you navigate conversations, set boundaries if things get heated, and discern timing. Maybe he can meet your parents. Maybe he can’t. But don’t try to manage this alone.
Second, invite without pressuring. “We’re having a parish potluck Saturday, y’all are welcome if you want to come.” Not “You really need to see what real Christianity looks like.” See the difference? One is hospitality. The other is a fight waiting to happen.
Third, avoid theological debates at Thanksgiving dinner. You won’t win. Even if you’re right about everything, you’ll just alienate people. When your dad says something dismissive about Orthodox worship, you can say “I understand why it seems strange” and change the subject. You don’t have to defend every point.
Fourth, keep honoring your parents in tangible ways. Call your mother. Help your father with his truck. Show up for family events when you can. The fifth commandment didn’t come with an exception clause for religious disagreement.
When opposition gets serious
Sometimes families don’t just disapprove, they threaten, manipulate, or cut off contact. If you’re financially dependent on parents who say they’ll stop paying for college if you become Orthodox, that’s a pastoral question for your priest. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
The Church has always recognized that following Christ can divide families. Jesus said as much. But the Church also calls us to peacemaking, to honoring parents, to bearing witness through love rather than confrontation. Holding both of those together requires wisdom beyond what an article can give you.
If your family’s opposition crosses into verbal abuse or threatens your safety, you need to set boundaries. Again, do this with your priest’s guidance. The goal isn’t to win a fight. It’s to preserve your ability to pursue the faith while maintaining whatever relationship is actually possible.
The long view
Metropolitan Kallistos Ware talks about conversion as a lifelong process. You’re not just changing churches. You’re being changed by Christ. That takes time.
Your family’s journey takes time too. The parents who were horrified when you first mentioned Orthodoxy might come to your baptism. Or they might not come but stop arguing about it. Or they might stay opposed but you’ll learn to live with that tension.
Some converts see their families eventually join them in the Church. Others maintain respectful distance for decades. Both outcomes are real. You can’t control which one you’ll get.
What you can control is whether you pursue Orthodoxy with humility, whether you continue loving your family even when they don’t understand, and whether you let this struggle make you bitter or make you more dependent on God’s grace. Choose the latter. Talk to your priest regularly. Pray for your family by name every day. And trust that the same God who called you into His Church is capable of working in their hearts too, in His own time and His own way.
