Tell them the truth: we’re Orthodox because this is the Church Jesus founded, and we love their friends anyway.
That’s the whole thing in one sentence. But let’s unpack it because you’ll get this question a dozen different ways as your kids grow up in Southeast Texas, where First Baptist has the biggest parking lot in town and their best friend’s family goes to Abundant Life every Sunday.
Start With What We Believe
Your kids need to know we’re not Orthodox because we like incense better or because Grandma was Greek. We’re Orthodox because this is the Church Christ gave to the apostles, kept whole and unchanged for two thousand years. It’s not arrogance. It’s what we actually believe.
But here’s the thing: you can teach that without making your seven-year-old think her Baptist friend is going to hell or that she can’t play at the Methodist kid’s house. Kids don’t need a theology degree. They need a simple story they can hold onto.
Try something like this: “Our Church is like a family recipe that’s been passed down exactly the same way since Jesus gave it to His friends. Other churches love Jesus too, but they’ve changed some things along the way. We keep it the way it’s always been.”
The Communion Question
This one comes up fast, usually after a sleepover or a Wednesday night youth group invitation. “Why can’t I take communion at Emma’s church?” Or worse: “Emma asked why she can’t have communion with us.”
Don’t panic. It’s a fair question.
Communion isn’t a snack we share with everyone who walks in. It’s medicine. It’s the actual Body and Blood of Christ, and it’s for Orthodox Christians who’ve prepared themselves through confession and fasting. It’s the most intimate thing we do as the Church, the family meal of Christ’s original family.
When your kid’s friend asks why they can’t receive, help your child say something kind: “It’s really special for us, like the most important thing in our Church. You’d need to become Orthodox first, but you’re always welcome to come and see.” Then maybe invite the family to Pascha. Let them see what we’re about.
And when your kid asks why they can’t take communion at their friend’s church, flip it around: “Would you want to receive something that isn’t really Christ’s Body and Blood? We believe what we receive at our Church is the real thing, so why would we go somewhere else?”
Living It Without Being Weird About It
Your kids will figure out they’re different. That’s fine. Different isn’t bad.
They’ll be the ones fasting during Lent while everyone else eats chicken nuggets at lunch. They’ll be the ones who can’t do sleepovers on Saturday nights because Sunday Liturgy isn’t optional. They’ll wear a cross their Baptist friends think is “Catholic.”
Let them be different. But teach them to be kind about it.
St. Silouan said to keep your mind in hell and despair not, but for kids the version is simpler: love everybody, stand firm in your faith, and don’t be a jerk about it. If someone teases them about icons or asks why they “worship Mary,” they can say, “That’s not actually what we do, want me to explain?” Or they can shrug and say, “It’s just what we believe” and go back to playing basketball.
The goal isn’t to win arguments at recess. It’s to be so rooted in Orthodoxy at home that the differences don’t shake them.
What You Model Matters More Than What You Say
If you talk about the Baptist church down the road like it’s a cult, your kids will pick that up. If you treat your Catholic coworker with love and respect while still being clear about what we believe, your kids will pick that up too.
You can believe the Orthodox Church is the Church and still be friends with people who aren’t Orthodox. In fact, you’d better be, because Christ didn’t say “love your neighbor unless they’re Methodist.”
Take your kids to Vespers on Saturday. Pray before meals in public. Talk about the saints like they’re family, because they are. When your kid comes home with questions about what they heard at a friend’s church, don’t freak out. Sit down and talk it through. “That’s an interesting idea, but here’s what our Church teaches and why.”
The tighter you build their Orthodox foundation at home, the less threatened they’ll feel by everything else out there.
The Long Game
Here’s what you’re doing: you’re raising kids who know who they are. Orthodox Christians living in a place where Orthodoxy is rare. That’s not easy, but it’s not impossible either.
They’ll have questions you can’t answer. Bring those to your priest or to someone who knows more than you do. They’ll have friends who think we’re strange. That’s fine, we are strange by the standards of modern American Christianity, and maybe that’s not a bad thing.
Keep bringing them to Liturgy. Keep fasting as a family. Keep telling them about St. Mary of Egypt and St. Moses the Black and the Theotokos. Keep loving their friends and welcoming them into your home. The rest will follow.
Your job isn’t to make them suspicious of everyone outside the Church. It’s to make them so at home inside the Church that they never want to leave.
