You should be at Divine Liturgy every Sunday if you possibly can. That’s the direct answer. But life in Southeast Texas doesn’t always cooperate with that ideal, and the Church knows it.
Let’s be honest about what we’re dealing with here. Some of you work rotating shifts at the refineries. Some are nurses pulling weekend rotations at Baptist or Christus. Some are caring for elderly parents who can’t be left alone. Some are sick yourselves. And some of you drive an hour each way to get to an Orthodox church because we’re not exactly thick on the ground around here.
The Church takes Sunday Liturgy seriously because it’s the heart of Christian life. It’s not a nice add-on to your personal spirituality. When we gather on Sunday, we’re doing what Christians have done since the Resurrection, we’re celebrating that Christ trampled down death by death. We’re receiving His Body and Blood. We’re being the Church, not just thinking about the Church. This isn’t guilt-tripping. It’s just what Sunday is.
But here’s where Orthodoxy differs from the legalism some of you grew up with in other traditions. The Church has always distinguished between someone who blows off Liturgy to sleep in or watch football and someone who genuinely can’t be there. Illness is a legitimate reason. So is caring for someone who’s ill. So is work you truly can’t get out of, and yes, that includes shift work that falls on Sundays.
If you miss three Sundays in a row without a serious reason, you should go to confession before receiving Communion again. That’s the traditional pastoral guideline. Notice it says “without a serious reason.” The Church isn’t interested in creating hoops for you to jump through. She’s interested in your healing, and regular absence from the Eucharist means you’re not receiving the medicine you need.
What counts as a serious reason? Talk to your priest. Really. That’s not a cop-out answer. Your priest is your spiritual father, and he can apply what the Church calls oikonomia, pastoral mercy and flexibility, to your specific situation. A nurse who works every other Sunday isn’t in the same situation as someone who decided the lake is more appealing than church. Your priest can help you figure out what’s possible and what’s not, and he can help you stay connected to the life of the Church even when your schedule is a mess.
When you can’t be at Liturgy, you still pray. Set aside Sunday morning and pray the hours at home, or read the Scripture readings for the day, or pray through the Psalms. Some people pray the Typika service, which is a simplified form of the Liturgy for when a priest isn’t available. You’re still keeping the Lord’s Day, even if you can’t be in the building.
Can you come to Vespers on Saturday evening instead? Can you make it to a weekday Liturgy on a feast day? The goal isn’t to check a box that says “church attendance.” The goal is to stay connected to the Body of Christ through the Eucharist as often as you possibly can. If that’s three Sundays a month instead of four, then make those three count. Come prepared. Come fasted. Come having been to confession recently.
And here’s something that might surprise you if you’re coming from a Protestant background: livestreamed services are better than nothing, but they’re not the same thing. You can’t receive Communion through a screen. You can’t venerate the icons or receive the blessed bread or stand in the nave with your brothers and sisters in Christ. Watching online can help you pray and stay connected when you’re stuck at home with the flu, but it’s not a long-term substitute for being there.
Metropolitan Kallistos Ware writes about how the Church holds two things in tension, the strictness of the canons and the mercy of pastoral application. We don’t water down the ideal. Sunday Liturgy matters. But we also don’t beat people over the head with rules when they’re genuinely trying to live a faithful life in difficult circumstances.
If you’re missing church because you’re lazy or indifferent, that’s one thing. Repent and come back. But if you’re missing because you’re working nights at the plant or because your mother has Alzheimer’s and you can’t leave her, that’s different. Talk to your priest. Work out a plan. Stay in confession. Receive Communion when you can. Keep praying. The Church is your mother, not your parole officer.
