You develop a relationship with your patron saint the same way you’d develop any friendship: spend time with them, learn their story, talk to them, and let their example shape how you live.
When you were baptized, you received a patron saint. Usually it’s the saint whose name you bear, though sometimes it’s a saint whose feast day falls near your baptism or someone you felt drawn to. This isn’t just a nice tradition. Your patron saint is a real person, alive in Christ, who prays for you and watches over your spiritual life. They’re your friend in heaven.
But friendships don’t happen automatically. You can’t just know someone’s name and call it a relationship.
Start With Their Story
Read your patron saint’s life. Not a paragraph on a website, the actual story. If you’re named Michael, read about the Archangel’s appearances in Scripture and the prayers we offer him. If you’re Barbara, read how she was martyred by her own father for her faith. If you’re Nicholas, read about the bishop who punched a heretic at the Council of Nicaea and secretly delivered gold to save three girls from prostitution.
These aren’t fairy tales. They’re accounts of real people who struggled, doubted, suffered, and chose Christ anyway. When you know what St. George faced before his martyrdom, asking his prayers means something different. You’re not just reciting words to a name. You’re talking to someone who knows what it costs to follow Jesus.
The lives of the saints get published in collections. Your priest can point you to a good one. Ancient Faith Publishing has several.
Keep Their Icon
Get an icon of your patron saint and put it somewhere you’ll see it daily. Your prayer corner if you have one. Your bedroom. Not tucked in a drawer.
This isn’t superstition. Icons are windows into the reality of the communion of saints. When you venerate your patron’s icon, kiss it, cross yourself before it, light a candle, you’re acknowledging that this person is present, alive, part of the Church just as much as the person standing next to you at Liturgy. We don’t worship the saint. We honor them and ask their prayers, the way you’d ask your grandmother to pray for you.
Pray to Them Daily
Talk to your patron saint. Out loud or silently, formally or casually. Ask their intercession when you’re struggling. Thank them when things go well. Tell them about your day.
Every saint has a troparion, a short hymn that captures their life and witness. Learn your patron’s troparion and pray it daily. It takes thirty seconds. If you’re named after St. Nicholas, you’d pray: “The truth of things revealed you to your flock as a rule of faith, an icon of meekness, and a teacher of temperance; for this cause, you have achieved the heights by humility, riches by poverty. Holy Father Nicholas, intercede with Christ God that our souls be saved.”
Pray it in the morning. Pray it before bed. Pray it when you’re stuck in traffic on I-10 heading to the plant. The words will sink into you, and you’ll start to see how this saint’s virtues connect to your own life.
Celebrate Their Feast Day
Every saint has a feast day, the day the Church remembers them. Mark it on your calendar. Go to Liturgy that morning if you can, many parishes serve Liturgy on major saints’ days even if they fall on a weekday. If you can’t make it to church, at least keep the day special somehow. Read their life again. Pray their service at home. Make their feast day a little celebration, maybe with a special meal.
In Southeast Texas, this might mean taking a vacation day or swapping shifts. It’s worth it. Your patron saint’s feast day is, in a sense, your true birthday, the day you celebrate the person whose name and prayers you carry.
Let Them Shape You
This is the heart of it. Your patron saint isn’t just an intercessor. They’re a model. St. Paul told the Corinthians to imitate him as he imitated Christ. That’s what the saints do, and that’s what they call us to do.
If your patron was known for mercy, practice mercy. If they were known for courage under persecution, ask for courage when your coworkers mock you for fasting. If they gave away their wealth, examine your own generosity. The relationship deepens when you let their life challenge yours.
This isn’t about perfection. St. Moses the Black was a murderer and thief before his conversion. St. Mary of Egypt was a prostitute. The saints weren’t plaster statues. They were broken people who let God put them back together, and they can help you do the same.
Your patron saint already knows you. They’re already praying for you. The question is whether you’ll get to know them back. Start small. Learn their story, get their icon, pray their troparion. The friendship will grow from there, and you’ll find you’re not walking this path alone.
