A Panikhida is a prayer service for someone who’s died. We’re asking God to forgive their sins, grant them rest, and raise them to eternal life on the last day.
If you’ve been to a Baptist or Methodist memorial service, this will feel different. We’re not just remembering someone or celebrating their life. We’re praying for them. Because we believe the dead are still part of the Church, still connected to us in Christ’s Body, and our prayers can help them.
That sounds strange if you grew up hearing that everything’s settled the moment you die. But Orthodox Christians have always understood death differently. The departed aren’t gone. They’re alive in Christ, waiting for the Resurrection. And the Church, the living and the dead together, remains one communion. So we pray for them like we’d pray for anyone we love.
What happens during the service
The Panikhida follows the pattern of Matins but shortened. There are psalms, litanies, hymns for the departed, and the Trisagion (“Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us”). The priest censes throughout. At the end we sing “Memory Eternal”, in Slavonic parishes you’ll hear Vyechnaya Pamyat.
Often there’s a memorial table set up with a cross, icons, and lighted candles. Sometimes there’s kollyva, which is boiled wheat mixed with honey, nuts, and raisins. The wheat symbolizes resurrection. A seed falls into the ground and dies, then rises as new life. That’s us. That’s everyone we’ve loved and lost.
The service is solemn but not despairing. Yes, we grieve. But we’re also asking for mercy and proclaiming hope in the Resurrection.
When we serve Panikhidas
You can request a Panikhida anytime, but there are traditional times. Many families ask for one on the third, ninth, and fortieth days after someone dies. The first anniversary too. Some parishes serve them at the graveside when weather permits (which in Southeast Texas means most of the year, unless we’re dodging a hurricane).
The Church also sets aside specific Memorial Saturdays during the year when we remember all the faithful departed. Several fall during Great Lent. On those Saturdays, parishes often serve a Panikhida after Liturgy, and people bring kollyva to be blessed.
You don’t have to wait for an anniversary. If you’re missing your grandmother or your son or your friend, you can ask the priest to serve a Panikhida. We do this because we believe prayer matters, even after death.
This isn’t purgatory
Catholics pray for the dead too, but we don’t hold to the Western doctrine of purgatory as Rome defines it. We’re not trying to shorten someone’s sentence in a waiting room. We’re asking for God’s mercy. We don’t know exactly what happens between death and resurrection. The Church has never mapped it out in detail. What we do know is that God is merciful, that our prayers matter, and that love doesn’t end at the grave.
Most Protestants around here don’t pray for the dead at all. If you grew up hearing that you’re either saved or you’re not and that’s that, this practice might feel off. But the early Christians prayed for their dead. You can see it in the catacombs, in the ancient liturgies, in the writings of the Fathers. It’s not something we invented. It’s something we’ve kept.
Can you request a Panikhida for someone who wasn’t Orthodox?
Yes, usually. Priests handle this pastorally. If your Baptist uncle dies, or your Catholic mother-in-law, you can ask the priest to pray for them. God’s mercy isn’t limited to Orthodox Christians, and neither is our love. Talk to your priest. He’ll guide you.
Kollyva and other customs
If you attend a Panikhida, you might see someone bring a tray of kollyva. It gets blessed during the service and sometimes distributed afterward. Making kollyva is an act of love. You’re preparing something with your hands, something that speaks of resurrection, in memory of someone you miss.
Different families have different customs. Some serve Panikhidas every year on the anniversary of a death, treating it almost as a birthday into eternal life. Some go to the cemetery. Some gather at the church. There’s flexibility here. What matters is that we’re praying, together, for those we love.
If you want to request a Panikhida at St. Michael, just talk to Father. He’ll walk you through it. Bring a list of names if you want to remember multiple people. Bring kollyva if you’d like, though it’s not required. Mostly just come. Stand with the Church. Pray for your dead. Trust that God hears us and that love, in Christ, is stronger than death.
