We call priests “Father” because they’re our spiritual fathers, they baptize us, guide us, teach us, and shepherd us in the faith. Jesus wasn’t forbidding this in Matthew 23:9. He was warning against the kind of pride and spiritual manipulation the Pharisees practiced.
Look at the context. Matthew 23 is one long rebuke of the Pharisees who loved fancy titles and places of honor but didn’t serve anyone. They wanted to be called Rabbi and Father and Master because it fed their egos and gave them control over people. Jesus says don’t be like that. Don’t use titles to puff yourself up or to claim the kind of absolute allegiance that belongs only to God.
But he can’t mean we should never use the word “father” at all. That’s impossible. Jesus himself quotes the commandment to honor your father and mother just two chapters earlier in Matthew 15. The Gospel of Matthew uses “father” thirty-seven times in the first seventeen chapters alone. St. Paul calls himself a spiritual father to the Corinthians: “I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel” (1 Corinthians 4:15). Nobody thinks Paul was disobeying Jesus.
The Prodigal Son calls his dad “Father” in Luke 15. We call Abraham “Father Abraham.” If Jesus meant this as an absolute ban on the word, the entire New Testament would be one big contradiction.
So what’s he actually saying? He’s telling us not to let any human teacher take the place that belongs to God alone. Don’t give anyone the kind of authority over your soul that makes them a rival to your heavenly Father. The Pharisees demanded that kind of allegiance. They set themselves up as the ultimate authorities, the ones you had to please, the ones whose approval mattered most. That’s the problem.
When we call a priest “Father,” we’re not doing that. We’re recognizing that he has a particular role in our lives. He baptized us or our children. He hears our confessions. He brings us the Eucharist. He teaches us to pray. He’s there at 2 a.m. when someone’s dying at Baptist Hospital. That’s spiritual fatherhood, and it’s a real thing.
It doesn’t compete with God’s fatherhood any more than your dad at home competes with God. Both kinds of fatherhood come from God. A priest doesn’t generate spiritual life on his own, he’s a servant, an instrument. The grace is God’s. The priesthood is Christ’s. But the ministry is real, and the relationship is real.
This has been the Church’s practice from the beginning. It’s not something we invented in the Middle Ages or borrowed from the Catholics. The apostles used this language. The early Church used these titles. When John Calvin (yes, that Calvin) wrote about this passage, even he said that ministers “share with [God] in his honor” without taking anything away from God himself.
Your Baptist relatives might ask you about this when they visit for Christmas. They’re not trying to be difficult, they genuinely think we’re violating Scripture. Just explain the context. Show them 1 Corinthians 4:15. Ask them if they call their own dads “Father” or if they’ve ever said “Father Abraham” in a hymn. Most people get it once they think it through.
The title isn’t about exalting the priest. It’s about recognizing what God does through him. And honestly, it keeps things clear. When someone says “I need to talk to Father,” everyone knows what that means. It’s not his first name. It’s his role in the community.
We’re not claiming our priests are perfect or sinless or beyond question. We’re saying they have a particular calling, and we honor that calling. Jesus said “whoever is greatest among you must be your servant” right there in the same chapter. That’s what the title should remind a priest of every single day. He’s a father, which means he’s supposed to lay down his life for his children.
Next time you’re at Liturgy, watch how the priest serves. He’s on his feet for two hours. He’s kissed by every person in the building. He’s the first one there and the last one to leave. That’s fatherhood. Not lording it over people, but serving them. That’s what the title means, and that’s why we use it.
